Fading Away

Do you have a passion? if so you might understand me. For a long time I've known what my passion is, I've known what my hearts desire was. It was worship. Leading people into the presence of the most high God. Knowing that it wasn't just acts of worship but an experience in his very presence. And that experience changing who you were. That was what made me most joyous, most peaceful....and I can write today and tell you, I feel I'm loosing it. But how can I loose something that I held so dear? I'm trying to understand that myself. I know some would say that it wasn't passion then, but IT IS. I think back, just couple months ago, it still shook the very essence of my being. But I've allowed my surroundings to influence me. I've let myself fade away. Don't judge me, you don't know me. This hurts me in a way I will never show you. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Nothing around me contents me. I know that God is there waiting for me. And I question myself. I question what I've become. I'm not a bad person, I'm not out partying either, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not doing anything "wrong" per say. I'm just not doing anything. So keep me in your prayers please. If you still pray. Why are we going to lie. So if you've been in a similar situation....don't fade away. I know you're not truly content where you are, you know there is more, you've seen more, you've waited for more.