basically I find myself missing you.
the oddest thing is that people think that I would miss someone else more than you. I have to stop thinking of the what-if's....there are no what-if's, it is what it is. To this day I try forget you, I try to forget all that happened, and forget what didn't happen. I really am trying to forget. I want to forget. This is pathetic, me being here months later still not having closure.

what is it with me and wanting closure? normal people just move on, don't they? This is a pattern that I feel I've created in my life. Truth is, I do miss you. I still hold this little thread of hope that maybe, just maybe you didn't go through with it and one of these days my phone will ring and it will be you.

Wishful thinking, I know. But that's the truth, that is what still goes on inside of me. Pathetic.

anywho....don't know why i'm writing now, its been forever since i last posted anything. Maybe next time I'll finally say that I'm great once and for all.