New York...Loved it!

I'm back from New York and I have to say that I didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did.....but I did...I fell in love with the city of Manhattan.

Everything didn't go as planned, but it all worked out for the best. Me and my lil' brother went all over. Central Park, Ground Zero, Bryant Park, Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center, Statute of Liberty, Ellis Island, Union Square, Soho, 5th Avenue....etc. Every-single place was beautiful.

It was funny because I based where I wanted to go on my movies! hehe, so yes, I went to Serendipity (from the movie Serendipity), went to go eat Gray's Papaya Hot Dogs (from Fools Rush In), Empire State Building (Sleepless in Seattle), many of the squares (You've got mail), Empire Diner (Forever Young)...and the list goes on. I LOVED IT!

Many people usually complain or always say that New York is to fast paced....well I loved that very thing. Everybody walking, taking the subway or a taxi (and its not even difficult to get a taxi), always seeing people walking around in the streets. Lots of tourist by the way...a lot of them spaniard! And even though the weather was COLD, we walked and walked and walked. And did I mention that it was freaking cold!!! I was wearing 2 coats, scarve, I don't know how many shirts, gloves, wermers.....and I was still cold! yeah....it was cold!

But just walking around in so much history....that was amazing. The streets, the lights, the colors, it all has a story. OH, and every park has a "dog run", that I thought was the cutest thing. I missed Toby when I saw those.

The pizza is great! yummi. We practically ate pizza every-day, well kind-a. and Gray's Papaya hot dogs, wow...I'm not a big hot dog person, but wow, those little hot dogs were good. OH, and the chish-kabob (or however you spell it) those little suckers were good too!

Everyday we went somewhere new. Always drinking coffee to stay warm. Seeing all that's playing in Broadway and all the lights and ads in Times Square. Literally being freezing cold while up in the Empire State building observatory deck. We would, well at least I would, go back and forth from the observation deck to the inside to try and get warm. Walking all the way down broadway to Soho and under! Then the breath-taking site and view of Ground Zero. And then on Sunday morning we woke up to snow! We walked over to Central park again to see New York ice skate in the rink in Central Park, or just sit back and enjoy the ride in a horse carriage. Walking through 5th avenue, and seeing some of the most expensive stores/boutiques in the world in one street. Finding Serendipity and realizing there was a 2 to 3 'hour' wait to get in. And going to see Liberty and Ellis Island. We finished off our trip by going to a Jazz Club with my friend Zack our last night in New York.

I'm definitely going back...maybe for New Year's, that would be great. But seriously, the city of Manhattan is amazing. I would recomend everyone to go at least once.

Until next time....

My Life/Mi Vida

Well, I had been meaning to write in here sooner, but hadn't gotten around to it. Life. Well, once again, God has reminded me that He is faithful. My life had been a bit "complicated" these past couple of months. And well, good thing we/I didn't do what "felt" as the obvious thing to do. If I would have done that, I wouldn't gotten in the way of God's plan, God's timing.

So what did we/I do? we allowed God to do His will. It has hard, many times didn't even know if His will was actually going to get done....but I can now tell you, that we're/I'm a step closer to that perfect will in the situation that we/I was going through.

There will be unity, not distruction! So I am thankful, and I am blessed. Once again, God has kept me strong. Once again He has shown me how much He loves me and takes care of me and my loved ones.

And hey, along other things, I got me a dog at the end of all of this drama! His name is Toby....and I'm loving every minute I'm having with him. He is my new baby....spoiled one at that.

Anywho, thanks to those friends that knew what was going on....thanks for your prayers and your support. God is GREAT. And His will WILL be done.

-------------------------

Para Sandra: :P

Bueno bendita que te puedo contar aqui. Acabo de escribr de como el Senor es Fiel. Y despues de casi 3 meses de espera, sus promesas siguen firmes: "No habra destruccion, solo unidad". Fue un tiempo en mi vida donde tuve que mantener mi fe. Porque yo sabia que el Senor estaba obrando. Aunque alrededor nos decian de cosas, sabiamos que El estaba obrando. Y lo estaba haciendo.

Osea, cuantas veces no te e contado cosas haci? que sin yo saberlo, El estaba obrando!!! pues lo a vuelto a hacer. Y bueno, entre cosas obvias....tambien hagarre un perro al final de todo este proceso. Mi papa me regalo un perro el viernes. Se llama Tobi, y me encanta.

Gracias por ver estado ahi Sandra. Gracias por tus oraciones y apoyo. Un beso y abrazo bendita! muahhh!

Something...

Well, I was due to write something new. What can I say? God has been my strength and HE is just unbelievable. So my life has been good, well, what pertains to me it has. Unexpected suprises, unexpected people have come back to my life, right at the perfect time. Its brought wonder and a glow back to my life. So anywho, I'll write more on that in the future.

For now, I guess I can say I'm doing well. Yes, still emo at times, but regardless knowing that God is in control.

Anywho....I have to write really fast, that I seriously enjoy the excitement that I get of trying to make it to all of "The Life" shows. hehe. Eversince I've been back from school, that's pretty much been my lil' escape. Thanks to those guys, cause without them even knowing it, they've filled this part of me that eversince I came back from school it was missing "something".

Anywho...ok....so I wrote...no so much "emo" this time, :P

OH yeah, had I mentioned that my dearest friend thelma gave me a betta for my bday? Well she did, and now Johnny, that's his name, is also another part of my life. hehe....I wanted a dog, but Johnny for now is good enough. He's great! I had never had a fish, thought they would eventually die...but supposebly betta's last up to 2-3 years. So keep your fingers crossed!!!! so far so good...its been a month that I've had him.

He's great. Has his own lil' attitude. Anywho, that's a totally different subject. Well, I just wanted to write something short, now this is just becoming to long....so you guys, many blessings to whoever is actually reading this...and well, reading this far. God bless, keep strong!

without you...i am nothing

"I miss where I’ve been
And I don’t like where I am"

I read this right now and all i know that right about now its starting to be my song. For the past couple weeks I've been trying to brush off what's been happening around me. But you can only try to deny who you are for so long before you are reminded that you were created for more.

I put on some music the other night to just fall asleep....and usually I would put some slow, accoustic sounds, but this night I felt like listening to spontaneous worship. So who do I put...I put #5 from Venga Tu Reino...that's the track that Ivonne starts singing and then its just an explosion from there on.

I was laying in bed and my spirit just started moving. And tears began pouring out. What I realized while laying there...I realized that I miss it. My spirit misses worship. My spirit, my soul, everything that is within me misses the passion that has lead to who I am.

So, I thought I was strong, I thought I could take this time "off". And to put all this in comparison.... the reality is that I've been on that fire, and you can't make me settle for just the blowing of smoke. I know where I've been. OHHHH and its been amazing, and now I realize that I don't like where I am. How can people live like this? I don't know how.

I haven't spoken to many about this, why not? I didn't want to be judged or to be felt sorry for. But most of all, I didn't want anybody judging something or a situation that they haven't been a part of. Its really easy to judge.

So, to the One that sustains me....I love you Father. And I repeat it to you today, "Without you, I am NOTHING".

Last day being 25 yrs old

(BE WARNED....THIS GETS LONG)

So before this day is over, I wanted to come in here and write. About what exactly, about life. Life is not what I thought it would have been. There's been times when I thought, and trully felt it was better than expected, but then there's been times when it just sucks.

So what can I write for the last day I'll be 25 yrs old. That time, life goes by very quickly. I'm sitting here with so much in my mind, but without words to write. I've had a good life. I've been blessed.

I have to say, it was a great year for me. No longer was I that little girl, I was that woman God had shown me I would be. Still in the making obviously, but it was more vivid. But now I feel lost, if I could think of a word. I'm ending this year unlike any other.

Lord what's going to happen? How will it all play out?

If with years come wisdom, then give it to me Lord. Give me wisdom. I don't want to continue to grow, without really learning, without really growing. Because words come out easy, even actions....but the true self...that's the one I want to grow.

Its been 25 years of pleasing people Lord. Its been 25 years of doing what was expected of me, of what I knew people wanted to see. And along those years, it became who I wanted to be. Lord, let this new year in my life be of pleasing to you.

Gosh, only you truly know my heart, only you truly know everything that is happening around me. Let me stay faithful to you Lord. Not to man, but to you.

Everything changes, I know that better than anybody. But regardless if everything around changes....let me stay true to you. Let me continue wanting to BURN for you Lord. Let me never settle for the smoke. I want be on Fire burning up for you!

Yes, I'm listening to switchfoot. Yes, I'm listening to On Fire and Twenty-Four. But no, its not why I'm writing this. This is my reality.

So for whoever actually read this far. Don't wait for the years to continue passing. What for? live now. Dream and know that those dreams will come to pass.

What do I want for my 26th birthday and for this new year of my life. I want to be closer to my dreams. I want God to use me like no othe time in my life. I want to use everything that I've gone through and am going through, and all the word that God has brought to me and burn people.

And I want to be there for my friends. Because through out these years, that's one thing that I've learned to value and cherish. My Friends. So...Sandra, Thelma, Liliana, Jes, David, Bobby and Gabriel....there's still so much we need to do and for us to be. Let me assure you guys, that you'll always be my gift. (And I can't name every single friend in here....but trust me, if you get lil' messages from me, or little voice mails....I LOVE YA!)

And lil' brother...if you ever read this and actually get this far. I'll always be there for you. Regardless of whatever is happening. You've been one of the greatest gifts my parents could've given me when I turned 17. If it hadn't been for that....I probably wouldn't love you as much as I do.

Okay, this is getting to long now....ok....wow, last post as a 25 year old. Don't take life for granted, don't take anything for granted for that matter. Love God, be passionate about God, and don't forget about the Love and plans He has for you.

PINKI YOU!

To all my friends...you know I mean nothing bad with "Pinki You"...love you all, MUAHHHHHH!

I didn't hurt my pinkis today or anything, which I tend to do frequently. I just really feel the pinki right now. I don't know how to explain it. Anywho.

You know when you can't find the word or words to say, to express to tell people how you're doing or feeling? Well, I wanted to come in here and write, but nothing came out natural. And "Pinki You" allowed me to breath and feel like I was letting it out to myself.

You don't have to understand me. This is for me. To all the crazy UPs and DOWNs that have happend these last couple months. PINKI YOU.

heheheh. I know who I'm trusting, I know who I have my eyes set on.

So, thank you to HIM. And the rest that I could say is "PINKI YOU".

To Whom It May Concern:

to the person that made me believe

to the person that allowed me to be
to the person that helped me come alive
to the person that broke my heart
to the person that I kept so many things from
to the person that I didn't tell prophecies told to us
to the person that I didn't yell I love you to
to the person that became a part of my dreams
to the person that will remain
to the person that told me to speak
to the person that told me that many loved me
to the person that asked me, why are you still here?
to the person that lied to me
to the person that called me amazing
to the person that no longer thinks of me
to the person that said I impacted them
to the person that doesn't deserve this being written
to the person that fooled me
to the person that I loved
to the person that made me see more
to the person that made dreams a reality
to the person that left me
to the person that taught me
to the person that told me I would never loose them
to the person that thought I was broken
to the person that thinks is dead to me
to the person that believed others instead of me
to the person that saw it easy to live without me
to the person that taught me how to look beyond my world
to the person who betrayed me
to the person who I admired
to the person who taught me to kill people while living
to the person who's words were cherished
to the person who became my confidant
to the person who wonders if this is written about them
to the person who's name was said every night as I went to sleep
to the person who became an answered prayer
to the person who's words I believed
to the person who didn't know what was in my heart
to the person who doesn't care anymore
to the person who's smile brightened my day
to the person who showed me not to worry about what others said
to the person who at one point only saw the ghost of who I used to be
to the person I didn't imagine myself without
to the person I let walk out of my life
to the person I thought the world of
to the person I was to prideful to tell don't go to
to the person I didn't get to love
to the person I won't forget
to the person I never thought I would say goodbye to


to that person, I wish I could be there for you, but I can't. You chose a path that I can't be a part of. But hey, I'll be alright, I've gotten up other times, why should this time be different? You're living our dream, it'll be hard, but you'll do just fine. I doubt our paths will cross again, I wish you the best. This is a sad story, but its my story to tell. And see, I know you'll never find the courage to face me. Because you'll never admit what you did. You'll try to play it off as if it was everybody's fault but yours. Or maybe you will, but just to proof me wrong, but what's the point of that? Many times I was told to look for you, to not let the enemy win....did he win, I ask myself? it saddens me to say, but what do you think?

To whom it may concern...and myself

Hello world...well, at least hello to whoever reads this. I pray all of you are doing well. I know we go through our ups and downs, but I'm hoping and praying that through every situation that comes your way...for you to remember who you are. Remember that you are loved, and that ONE that loves you will not let you down. He will be your strength and comforter. Don't doubt, HE IS THERE. Well, don't know why I wanted to write that...but its there. Be encouraged you guys...SMILE! :D Many blessings to you all! *************************** Halo mundo...o tan siquiera halo a quien lea esto. Es mi oracion que todos esten bien. Se que hay dias buenos y malos, pero espero y oro que en medio de cada situacion que venga a nosotros, recuerden quienes son. Recuerden que son amados, y EL que nos ama no te dejara. El sera su fuerza y su comfortador. No duden, EL ESTA AHI. Bueno, no se porque quize escribir esto...pero ahi esta. Animense muchachos, SONRIAN :D Bendiciones a cada uno de ustedes!

A Great Day!!

Okay, I've had a great day. I want to be able to write about it and be able to give it justice. I already had plans for after work and that was that. All day I had been planning my day. So I get on the trolley after work, and I get a seat. I don't really remember which station it was in, but 2 guys come in, and they sat next to me. Fine. I'm just sitting there looking out the window, and that's it. Minutes later the one in front asked the guy next to me for the time. I thought of telling them the time, but nahhh, I didn't say anything. So then the guy in front of me gets his cell phone and gets the time. Okay so that's that. I can continue with the story, but its gonna get long. To the point, because of the cell phone, I got mine out and that started a conversation with them. Turns out I was talking to the drummer and the bass player of a Mexican Rock/Alternative band called "Elefante". I didn't believe them at first, but they showed me their passports, with stamps from all the countries they've traveled too. One thing led to another and, I ended up calling my brother...and we went to couple places in San Diego looking for a swrew driver and some other little things they needed. Then, we left to Tijuana to go to the concert they were playing at that night. We ended up going with them in their van. We met the whole group, and went with them to the show. THEY WERE AWESOME! and the crowd loved them. Afterwards, since they came out first, they were waiting for me and my brother to get back so we can head back to the hotel. I made new friends today, and they were cool. So to Iguana and Tracks (El Gordo), it was really cool to meet you guys. You guys ROCK! Iguana let me know that anytime I know their playing or their in town, to give him a call and I'm there. Thank you. It was cool to be a part of their group for those couple hours. I know it was a day that neither me or my brother will forget. There is so much more to tell...but that will stay in my memory.

Mex Outreach

What can I write about this experience. I saw GOD'S FAITHFULLNESS, GRACE, FAVOR, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, MERCY....and so many other things. This trip was more than a blessing, it was a divine appointment ordained from God. I'm thankful for having gone to this trip, and having been placed with the trip from Berkeley. I'm definitely going back real soon. I already have people getting things ready to take with us. God is good. Anywho...thank you LORD!

A Day of Surprises

I want to thank those people that know what I'm writing about for today. You guys, I love each one of you. And I still can't believe the news, hehe, but know that YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME. And I know that each one of us feels the same. I'm still in a bit of a "shock" with the suprise, but thank you for the way it was told. Its going to be a moment that I know neither of us will forget. Even years down the line, we'll remember that moment. You guys, I love you!!! And I am more than blessed to have you in my life, and to be a part of your individual journeys. OH YEAH, because we all know this is still part of the beginning. I miss you guys more than you'll ever know. We continue growing, but I pray that what we have, little things like what we shared and lived this morning, will never end or be taken for granted. I want to be a part of the little things in your life, because you've been a part of mine. And even though, for half of us, hehe, they'll always be thousands of miles between us...don't think that'll stop half of us of getting in our car and DRIVING over there! (if its last minute and we can't afford a plane ticket!) Because like I've said it before...what we have is not based on seeing each other or talking to one another every day. What we have is more than that. So don't you guys ever feel alone okay!!! because you're not! Okay, now I'm just having way to many memories going through my head. I'M STILL IN SHOCK, and I think now I am going to cry! hehehe. Anywho, to those who this is being written to: 143/353 ALWAYS!

No Regrets

Obviously, I hadn't mentioned this...but I did something couple weeks ago that I'm still waiting an answer for. What did I do you might ask? Something that is going down in my list of MOST embarrasing thing I have ever done. But no regrets, I wanted it out there. I didn't want to look back months, or years from now and regret not having done it. So I did. I know the outcome will not be bad. I am sure of it. But anywho...I'll await my answer.

People...

Okay...its been days, but I don't know...life, people. People just suprise you. You think you know them, think you made a "friend", and then nothing. I don't know its not something you just ignore, well at least I can't. I was onced asked why I sometimes harden my heart to certain things or people. Well that is one of the reasons. Because people, the ones you would never imagine them hurting you do just that... I don't want to sound bitter here, hehe, not at all. Its just that certain people you would never think would hurt you or leave you, and they do. Sorry you guys, just having a blah moment here.

Hello!

Hello world! Okay, well at least whoever is reading this. I hope to get this up and running, I'm not having much time now that I started working AGAIN, yeah...but I'll do my best to be updating this and just writing.