without you...i am nothing

"I miss where I’ve been
And I don’t like where I am"

I read this right now and all i know that right about now its starting to be my song. For the past couple weeks I've been trying to brush off what's been happening around me. But you can only try to deny who you are for so long before you are reminded that you were created for more.

I put on some music the other night to just fall asleep....and usually I would put some slow, accoustic sounds, but this night I felt like listening to spontaneous worship. So who do I put...I put #5 from Venga Tu Reino...that's the track that Ivonne starts singing and then its just an explosion from there on.

I was laying in bed and my spirit just started moving. And tears began pouring out. What I realized while laying there...I realized that I miss it. My spirit misses worship. My spirit, my soul, everything that is within me misses the passion that has lead to who I am.

So, I thought I was strong, I thought I could take this time "off". And to put all this in comparison.... the reality is that I've been on that fire, and you can't make me settle for just the blowing of smoke. I know where I've been. OHHHH and its been amazing, and now I realize that I don't like where I am. How can people live like this? I don't know how.

I haven't spoken to many about this, why not? I didn't want to be judged or to be felt sorry for. But most of all, I didn't want anybody judging something or a situation that they haven't been a part of. Its really easy to judge.

So, to the One that sustains me....I love you Father. And I repeat it to you today, "Without you, I am NOTHING".