The AFTERMATH

God is truly, I mean truly AMAZING! He always does more than one imagines and He sure has proven that to me time after time. How is it that I still fall into doubt? How can I possible doubt that He always is taking care of me? that He is working even while I do not see it or feel it! AH! i'm in aww of what you He has done, of the healing that took place!

I feel as if I had been walking around with an unknown wound and not realizing that it was taking my life away. Why do I say that? Because He has begun the healing of that wound. I guess I had grown accustomed to that wound that I didn't realize the difference in having it there or not. I'm healed though! and that alone, being able to say that causes so much joy in my soul. I know that it was not in my own strength that that unknown wound went away. And I say unknown, because this whole time I thought I didn't have any more wounds left because of you. I thought I was fine. But now, the aftermath, lets me see that there was part of that wound left in me. Because what my spirit is living right now, what my soul and my heart are experiencing is NOT what I had been living. I feel as if once again, He is giving me a new life. And I come to realize that a couple months ago, he began giving me that new life, he began restoring and renewing me then....but oh, He was not done with me, not at all.

It was Him who ordained all of it to happen, I cannot take credit, I can't. Friend, let me tell you that as every single word was spoken, any anger, resentment, pain, bitterness or unforgiveness that might have still been in our hearts, was taken away as every word continued to come out. Who does that? who can do that? only God can! its all Him.

I want you to know that it might have taken a couple years to come to this, but now I can't think of that pain or resentment. I can't remember the feeling of it. I feel like a new person. Is this what it feels like to have a burden taken off of you? WOW! I love it. I don't have anything hindering me. Did we actually allow all of this to linger on this long? You mean to tell me we could have felt this a long time ago? Well maybe not. We weren't ready for this, we weren't ready to accept the consequences. Perfect example: Yes, i had forgiven you, but I had never told you. I didn't want to have to face you, because I didn't want to have the "aftermath", the "then what". And yet, I wrote that blog, but it didn't mean I wanted to contact you directly. In a way it was sort of just letting it out there, so I could say "I did my part....be blessed, have a great life!" That was me still showing that I wasn't ready. That I was scared of what the consequence might be. And yet you surprised me, you completey caught me off guard by your reply. I might have taken the step into restoration, into healing all of this....but you decided to walk through it.

Thank you for all that was said. Thank you. I'll hold those words dear to me probably for the rest of my life.

Lord, "you give and take away...my heart will choose to say blessed be your name!" You sure gave me, you gave me a great friend, and you allowed them to be taken away. Lord, I choose to tell you blessed be your name. I know that what we are to have now will be greater than what we had in the past. (Haggai 2:9) I have faith Lord that you will restore what was broken and you will give life.

Do you know what I think. I think we'll both end up using all of this experience in our ministries. People will be blessed by it, I know it. Truly amazing.