What is it?

I wish I could write something great. something that would make me feel content about life right now. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong going on. Actually things are good. Work is good. I mean it is. I wake up every morning (remember I am NOT a morning person) yet I get ready and go to work. I go to my office and enjoy being there. So yes, work is good.

Church, I'm excited, right? I mean we finally have our own building, we're remodeling...I'm supposebly in charge of the colors and decorations for the reception.....that's great right? I'm singing in the worship. Some Sundays the worship time is simply amazing. But why don't I truly get contentment as a whole during the whole service. Not just during worship, but during the word?

I think i found my uncontentment.

O.S.E.A. that's another thing. I wish I could do it all. I wish i could go and come as i please. I wish i had all the finances together and travel and give and serve. I wish I didn't have to rely on others. I wish I could just do it. Can I just do it? no. Maybe its supposed to be a yes, but life happens. I have to responsibilities that tie me to San Diego.

I want to travel. I want to be able to just be able to get on a plane and go. Be it for one of my best friends' wedding, or go to a nation. But the feeling of going, I need that. I don't like feeling that I'm just here and that's it. Sometimes I wonder if I'd feel this way if I'd never gone to CFNI. Well, no point in thinking that since I did go, and now I'm this way. Now I want certain things that my surroundings do not provide, do not fill.

I want to many things and i need to learn how to do one thing at a time. I don't have to have everything done at once, one thing at a time Johanna. For now, that's all I've got.

oh...here's a picture of Toby. can't believe he's been in my life for a whole year now.