Being Irrational...I know

I'm over it.

What am I over? I'm over thinking more of a situation than is necessary. Im over making excuses for people. I’m over thinking that someone out there genuinely desires to talk to me. Here’s the situation that caused all of this. I’ve had a friend calling me almost every single day for a couple months now. And it was nice. I’ve always enjoyed talking to old friends from school. I didn’t want to admit it, but two weeks ago when he stopped calling everyday like he had been, strike one, that’s when I realized that I had enjoyed receiving his phone calls everyday. We wouldn’t even talk about much, but we would talk about everything. If that makes any sense? And so, after he stopped calling I asked myself, “why do I care if he calls everyday or not?”, “he’s just a friend, why should I feel any different?”. And so when I realized that I was questioning my own emotions, I thought “this is a good thing then, its good that he doesn’t call everyday, I don’t want to feel this”…I was getting used to him calling and I shouldn’t have. He is just a friend, nothing more. So by him not calling anymore I was able to be and feel just like I did when he wasn’t in my life. Fine, ok….I was fine.

But then he calls me and leaves a message saying he was calling because he saw that I had called! So he wouldn’t have called me if he wouldn’t have seen my number in his cell? Strike two. I had said I was fine right? Well, this made me start thinking too much again, asking myself questions I had been asking for the past 2 weeks. I shouldn’t care so much. I shouldn’t think too much into it. It means nothing.

Then we finally do get to talk and he already knows this, but when I’m home he calls me to my house number since I have bad reception with my cell. But did he ask to call me at my house like he usually does? No. Its fine. We’ll talk on my cell. We’re talking on my cell, and it cuts off. I call back, and he mentioned calling me back at my house number, I’m thinking this is what we always do. So ok. Did he ever call? No. Strike three.

I’m over it.

This is the reason I don’t let many in. Yeah, maybe I’m being a little irrational. I’m probably making a bigger deal of this than what it is. I am aren’t I? But I’m not going to tell you that I don’t care. No. The conclusion now then is that he is just a normal friend, like any other friend. We’ll talk once in a while to catch up and sometimes it’ll be weeks that we don’t hear from each other and it’ll be fine.

He called couple of times after tonight, but I couldn’t answer. He text me writing that he tried calling but the phone was busy the other night. Hmm….funny that I had the phone with me the whole time. Whatever. I’m over it.

Men and women react different to things, I know. The thing also is that now I ask myself, why did he call everyday? Do you guys do that with any friend?

AH! I’ll stop. Yes, I’m being difficult. I’m a girl. I’m being honest though, this is how I have felt. I'm noticing that I wrote "I'm over it" a couple of times. Sounds like I'm trying to convince myself that I'm over it huh? seriously, why do we react like this?

It reminds me of "When Harry met Sally"...men and women can't really be friends......nevermind. ok...this was a pathetic side of me that I just wrote about. Great! but I have to vent with someone right?