A New Beginning

I cannot believe the great and amazing things God is doing in my life right now. This week began with so many questions, with my emotions, my thoughts all over the place. Yet, God not only calmed all that yesterday through an amazing truth a dear friend reminded me of, but then again today he gave me more than i would have thought.

Today we had a woman's breakfast/conference. They had asked me to lead worship. God answers prayers, and today a cry that had been in my heart was answered. I had asked to help me worship him freely, with no reservation, without staying quiet. I feel that after I came back from CFNI this is who I was, I worshiped freely, with no reservation and did not stay quiet. Yet with everything that has happened in my life and around me has changed me in worship. And I had been wanting to get that Johanna back, to no be scared to truly worship the way my spirit was leading me to.

Well this morning God did it. At the end of the time of worship, I stood next to Ernesto, one of our drummers, and he said something along the lines of "wow, johanna, that was something else"....and I didn't have any words. Between inhaling and exhaling, I also told him, "I hadn't done that in a long time, that I was also in wow".....

From there on, God just continued to touch my life. We had these pastors who I had never met (husband & wife) share the word. The wife went up first and she began speaking on emotional health. I felt the word was just for me. She spoke about forgiveness, she spoke about living an abundant life, the life God has created for us, but at times since we want to live with our pains, hurts, betrayals, we don't forgive, we hold the grudge and we are not allowing God to do what he has wanted to do all along in our lives. She truly spoke an amazing word.

Then her husband went up, the pastor, and he continued on the same word. As well, he spoke to my life. At the end, he asked the worship team to go up. He did an altar call and we just began to worship. Then he calls my dad up, and gives him prophetic word. He calls my aunt up, women's director, and gives her prophetic word. The he starts saying my name, He looks at me and calls me to go where he is. And right there and then, God just began to give me word, to confirm his calling, to confirm who I am to him. Then his wife as well begins to give me word from God, and too confirms and brings light to a calling I had asked God to confirm if it was really for me (youth). Guess what, it is so my calling! hehe. I can no longer question it, i can no longer runaway from it. Its time do do God's business, and He'll take care of my business.

So guess what? I'm forgiving, because He's forgiven. Sin is sin. And God doesn't forgive only certain sin, he forgives All of our sins. And so, we are created new, we no longer have that sin. And if God sees us clean, why can't we see each other in this same way.

And so, I forgive. And I let go of the past. And I welcome this new beginning.